I am so tired of everyone's "mommy guilt." You feed your kids junk food. You aren't environmentally friendly enough. You didn't nurse long enough. You didnt nurse at all. You let the TV babysit your kids. Sometimes you need to get the H out of the house by yourself. You leave your kids for the weekend. You dont want to pay for ABCmouse.com- haha. You work in any capacity. You don't let your kids watch/do what other moms do. Your kid swore at pre-school. You aren't getting on the floor with them every day. You disciplined out of anger. Even though you judge those families that are all plugged in at the restaurant with their various iPads and iPhones not talking to each other... sometimes it looks pretty peaceful as opposed to the s-show that is happening at your table. You dont go outside enough with the kids because- well...it's just to friggin hot. You dont read to them enough. You serve Kraft macaroni and Mrs. Butterworth. While other moms are creating lunches with cookie cutters, you are pretty proud of your cold chicken nuggets because you remembered to pack a packet of ketchup you dug out of the McDonalds bag from last night...when you didn't cook. Any kid after the first doesn't have the following: a baby book, photo documentation of the in utero belly baby comparison to vegetables-or your sympathy. And the only time you check on the night crying of the 2nd is to make sure he doesnt wake up the first. You need to have a drink most nights just to unwind.
I could go on. Spend time together. As much as you can, and let the other stuff go. And stop trying to create a perfectly clean house if it is sacrificing actual together time to do it. They dont notice if there are always piles of laundry or dirty dishes in the sink. They dont care. Give them lots of hugs, give them boundaries and discipline. Be their mom- not their friend. Let them get their hands dirty. Let them do things that look potentially unsafe- within reason. It's OKAY if they fall off the scooter or bust their knees up. Let them make messes in the kitchen! Its fun, and it doesnt have to get cleaned up right away. Don't overschedule them just because their friends are in soccer, dance, swimming, and piano...you dont have to "discover their gifts" all at once just because every other parent is. The kids need to know they are loved unconditionally by you. They need food, and semi-clean clothes. They need your presence. In 20 years not one of our children is going to be telling their therapist that their mother didnt cut their organic almond butter/jelly sandwiches into spider webs on halloween. Stop with the endless mommy guilt. Ensure they KNOW you love them.Love, EG- the world's okayest mom