It is a happy day! We are going on 10 years of marriage today! Here are my best marital nuggets I have to pass on to you youngins.
1. Hold SHORT accounts.
2. Get used to saying this, "I'm sorry for _____. Will you forgive me?" Because anyone can flippantly say, "I'm sorry," but it takes true humility to ask for forgiveness
3. Don't bring shiz up after you work through it-ever.again.
4. Always have a sense of humor. Life is a little cray cray, especially when you become a parent
5. Don't expect your husband to parent the way you do...especially if you want him to "parent" the children when you need to leave. Just ask him to keep them alive and don't sweat the small stuff like if they got fed exactly on time, or if they missed their nap- or if they ate cupcakes for lunch- who cares. It will be fine by the next day
6. Have sex often, and never withhold it as a way to control. And you don't "grow out of this." It is one of the most important things you can do for your marriage.
7. Pray before bedtime together.
8. Realize that marriage is not always 50%/50%. Some days you are going to give 79% and he will give 21%. Some days he will give 90% and you will give 10%. It's okay.
9. Learn to serve each other.
10. Read Five Love Languages and figure out which one he is, and love him that way... Don't assume just because you feel loved by receiving gifts, he does too... or whatever
11. Don't go to bed angry, and always sleep in the same bed- even when you don't want to.
12. Learn to communicate with each other
13. Talk through your family history...often. So many unspoken expectations are set in place bc of what is "normal" to you. He didn't grow up in your house with your parents and siblings...things were done differently. This will really help you understand each other.
14. Incorporate each others family traditions
15. Forgive... you are an idiot sometimes too.
16. Don't EVER air your frustrations in public or in front family or friends. It's extremely disrespectful, and it makes you look like the jerk any way.
17. Make an effort to learn to like his friends...even the idiotic ones he grew up...he was little...he didn't know any better.
18. Make an effort to keep yourself together- whatever that looks like for you. For me that means working out, keeping up with my nails, wearing makeup, dressing decently on a daily basis...whatever that looks like for you. If you have let yourself go- yes EVEN if you are in the throws of motherhood...make an effort.
19. Respect him by thanking him for what he does for you/the family by providing financially-even if you make more money. Let your income just be a bonus to his provisions. Thank him...a lot and always.
20. Date night once a week. Get a sitter. Cut back in another area to afford it if needed. Two rules on date night. No talking about the kids or jobs.Happy Anni to my one and only,